[Corp. Watch] Supreme Irony: Corporation running for Congress

[Corporation Watch]

Supreme Court Ruling Spurs Corporation Run for Congress

 First test of "corporate personhood" in politics

(Murray Hill, Jan. 25) -- Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in "Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission" to allow unlimited corporate funding of federal campaigns, Murray Hill, Inc. today announced it was filing to run for U.S. Congress, and released its first campaign video.

	"Until now," Murray Hill Inc. said in a statement, "corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, we can now eliminate the middle-man and run for office ourselves."

	Murray Hill Inc. is believed to be the first "corporate person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.

	As Supreme Court observer Lyle Denniston wrote in his SCOTUS blog, "If anything, the decision in 'Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission' conferred new dignity on corporate 'persons,' treating them -- under the First Amendment free-speech clause -- as the equal of human beings."

	Murray Hill Inc. agrees. "The strength of America," Murray Hill Inc. says, "is in the boardrooms, country clubs, and Lear jets of America's great corporations. We're saying to Wal-Mart, AIG, and Pfizer, 'If not you, who? If not now, when?' "

	Murray Hill Inc., a diversifying corporation in the Washington, D.C. area, has long held an interest in politics and sees corporate candidacy as an emerging new market. It plans on spending "top dollar" to protect its investment. "It's our democracy," Murray Hill Inc. says. "We bought it, we paid for it, and we're going to keep it."

	The campaign's designated human, Eric Hensal, will help the corporation conform to antiquated "human only" procedures such as signing the necessary voter registration and candidacy paperwork. Hensal is excited by this new opportunity. "We want to get in on the ground floor of the democracy market before the whole thing is outsourced to China."

	Murray Hill Inc. plans on filing to run in the Republican primary in Maryland's 8th Congressional District. Campaign Manager William Klein promises an aggressive, historic campaign that "puts people second" or even third.

	"The business of America is business, as we all know," Klein says. "But now, it's the business of democracy too." He says Murray Hill Inc. plans to use standard corporate influence tactics -- such as automated robo-calls, "Astroturf" lobbying, and computer-generated avatars -- to get out the vote.

	Murray Hill Inc. is launching the campaign with a website (www.murrayhillweb.com/new_day/index.html), Facebook page, and YouTube video: www.youtube.com/user/murrayhillcongress.